The Great Pooping Cat Ver1
by TAMBorange
Summary: Harry Potter-Percy Jackson-Twilight crossover. Bella Swan was kidnapped by a mysterious villain who claimed himself as The Great Pooping Cat. Hilarity ensues, with Edward tearing through dimensions to save his life, while ending up with a group of powerful teenagers. Will they save Bella Swan? And what's with all those Nyan Cats and Naked Grandma? WARNING: Very very RANDOM...


**EPIC CROSSOVER**

_A story which includes four of the most famous books in the world._

_Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Twilight and The Hunger Games._

_Work by: ThisAintMakeBelieve and Monikpotterhead_

_We do not own the characters, except the villain._

One day, Bella Swan got kidnapped by an evil looking cat from another dimension that called itself The Great Pooping Cat. Edward Cullen got so furious that he followed the cat across several dimensions in the world in search for his love.

Suddenly an old man called Dumb-as-a-door popped out and told him to take with him a few people who could be great allies. So Edward tore through dimensions to find the listed people.

Somewhere in Scotland, in a magic school called Hogwarts, a portal appeared, making some students jumped in shock. A handsome man who looked like deceased Cedric Diggory jumped out and snatched away Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, before running back to the glowing hole. Draco Malfoy could only splutter in disbelief, as he watched the scene unfold.

After that, the demigods of Zeus, Poseidon and Hades were also taken away by the pale vampire while doing their stuffs. Thalia Grace, daughter of Zeus cursed herself to be captured by a man while hunting with other huntresses. Percy Jackson, son of Poseidon could only yelped in surprised as he was pulled away from his kiss with his girlfriend, Annabeth. And the son of Hades, Nico di Angelo was taken aback as he was pulled into his own darkness when he was patrolling the streets.

And lastly, a young girl called Katniss Everdeen also found herself in the same predicament.

All the teenagers were squished together in what little space they had in a dark room as Edward explained his predicament. At first, most of the teens were not that cooperative, but when they heard about how powerful the enemy was, they decided to help. So the eight people all jumped into the final dimension gate, to the Planet of Cats, where The Great Pooping Cat lived.

The old man, Dumb-as-a-door popped out again, and gave them instructions about the many trials they had to face to get to Pooping Cat's palace.

The first trial was to walk through the big Amazon River of Dung, where the water was thick with animal droppings, and the current was fierce. It was no problem as Percy and Nico chopped down a nearby giant tree and made themselves a wooden boat. It was a struggle at first since the river's current was too strong, but the three wizards remembered that they could do some spells to help the boat across, so with Percy's water power and a few spells, the boat landed safely on the other side.

They walked a few more miles when they wandered into a meadow. A meadow filled with Nyan Cats. Thousands and thousands of Nyan Cats. And they were all singing the viral song of the Nyan Cat.

"Why are those cats flying? And is that pop-tart? What's with all the rainbows?" Came the questions of the British wizards, Edward and Katniss.

The American demigods were already used to the viral video, so they hung on pretty easily, while the others were being driven up the wall by the constant rainbow farts and meowing sounds coming from the strange felines.

"If we don't hurry out of here, our brains will explode!" Thalia called out as she darted towards a random direction, only to be blocked by a dozen of cats. She gasped as a cat beard its fangs and attacked her, but she quickly dodge in a split second.

"Looks like we have to fight our way out." Katniss stated as she pulled out her bow and arrow, followed suit by Thalia, whose silver bow gleamed dangerously under the sun light.

So, the group launched out their attacks, knocking out the Nyan Cats to no avail, as the cats only multiplied more. One hit Edward square in his chest, making him doubled over in pain.

Hermione almost got bitten by the arm, before Ron knocked her over and got bitten in the knee himself. Harry was struggling on his own, shooting out all the spells he could remember. He shouted out when a raging cat flicked his wand away and pounced on him, shredding his shirt by its sharp teeth. He winced when the cat's head was chopped off by a midnight black sword that radiated death. He looked up to find his savior was Death's Child, Nico di Angelo.

The younger teen helped Harry up before running out again, summoning dozens of undead soldiers in his wake. The skeletons charged at the cats and bone-chilling battle began. Thalia quickly made friends with Katniss as they kept on shooting off arrows with precise aim. The two girls had now killed over hundreds of pop-tart cats, their corpses melting into a puddle of rainbow goo everything they hit the ground.

The son of Poseidon in fact was doing okay, since he was impossible to kill. He kept slaying cat after cat and sometimes controlled the puddle of rainbow goo to slow the kitten attacks down. But even though he was invulnerable, his Achilles heel was tiring him down, and a few minutes later, he could barely stood. The Nyan Cats were getting closer, and closer… Until he heard a shrill scream behind him. He quickly turned around, to find the Nyan Cats that were hit by the rainbow-goo-thing had magically turned themselves to Tac Nayns, the opposite of Nyan Cat. the Tac Nayn were now viscously attacking the Nyan Cats.

The others realized it, too, and soon almost half of the Nyan Cats were sprayed with colorful goo before morning into black Tac Nayns. The wizards shouted "_Accio!_" as the goo flew up into the sky and attacked the rainbow-pooping kittens. Thalia and Katniss coated their arrows with the same gooey substance and shot those arrows to the other cats. Nico and Percy did the same thing to their swords, and Edward was handed a knife by Nico to dip the blade into the goo, too.

After almost half an hour, all the cats were destroyed, and the team was very very exhausted. Percy, because of his Achilles heel, collapsed as soon as he sheath his sword, Riptide back into a pen and put it in his pocket.

Everybody was resting on the grassy ground before they heard a thundering sound, and the earth started to shake. Suddenly, a giant Nyan Cat grew from the Earth, and its round black eyes were locked onto the heroes. It was trial three, the last trial. As they stared helplessly at the giant cat, the last and most dangerous demon on the planet, a small whistle was heard, and a cloaked figure appeared in front of the group.

"I'm here to help you." The cloaked figure said, as it pulled down its hood only to reveal… an old wrinkly face of a granny.

Unfortunately, everybody was too tired to even say a thing.

"I am Dumb-as-a-door's wife, and I'm a superhero. People called me Grandma, but my super alias is…" She took off the cloak. "The NAKED GRANDMA."

All the boys and girls, even though they don't have any energy left, jumped up in fear as they quickly hid their face behind their palms, the girls squealing in horror ad the boys running around, shouting for dear life. What they saw had scarred its image into their mind forever. Even the giant Nyan Monster also had the same reaction, and even worse, as it chocked on air and its eyes rolled over its head, before passing out cold.

"I have defeated another monster." The NAKED GRANDMA stated proudly before wrapping her cloak over her body again. "Come, children, let me heal you."

The group of heroes walked warily towards the granny, and with a snap of her finger, all of their injuries were healed, and they were transported into a castle, and in front of them was The Great Pooping Cat in all his glory. Next to him was Bella, who was dumped into a bowl of poop. The stench was so heavy, most of their face turned green.

"… You've defeated all of my trials?!" The cat exclaimed, eyes wide in fear.

"So… I thought he was menacing, but this is just ridiculous." Ron said as he eyed the pathetic cat.

"Of course we have defeated them. We're superheroes." Edward answered calmly. "But why did you kidnapped Bella?"

The cat only stared at him with mournful eyes before speaking: "Seriously, dude?You don't get it? She had done something very horrible! It's like, totally bad and stuff!"

"WHAT?" the heroes exclaimed.

"She had chosen you over Jacob."

Everyone did face palm.

"What? I mean, Jacob is really cool and handsome and muscular! He's supposed to be the one she choose!"

Bella gasped gently and said from her pool of crap. "But Poop-Cat, I really love Edward. Even though he's cold and sparkles when the sun shines at him, I love him. He's the most charming man I've ever met, and I had no regrets when I married him. I love him."

"But I-!" The cat stuttered before sighing, "Very well, you know what they say, if you love something, set it free. I hope you made the right choice, Bella. And now I'm going to let you go."

With that, the pool of crap disappeared and Bella was clean and not smelly again. Edward ran up to his wife and hugged her tightly, murmuring comforts and giving her soft kisses. The sun light hit the couple and they started to sparkle in cheesy romance.

The other heroes who were forgotten stared at the couple, their face varied of emotions. Thalia, Katniss and Ron looked disgusted. Harry only coughed into his palm awkwardly. Hermione smiled. Nico disappeared into the shadow and gagged to himself at the cheesiness. And Percy?

Well, he only stared for a really long time, before saying: "All the stuffs we've been through and almost got ourselves killed, just for this? Well, you know what? I hate Twilight."

**The End.**


End file.
